How to Keep a Conversation Going with a Girl Over Text + Examples
Online dating has made texting and getting to a date harder than ever. That's why Henry wrote this blog on how to keep a conversation going with a girl over text.
Being in a long-distance relationship and even saying the right things to get Robyn on a first date in the first place was hard. That's why I have brought together the most comprehensive guide to keeping a conversation going with a girl over text.
Read on to see our 5 tips and a failsafe way to get to a date using the AJRM method.
If there is anything you've missed, feel free to get in touch. Then, when you finally get that date, check out our blog on the top romantic places to visit in the UK to plan the ultimate romantic getaway.
You can also checkout “How to Lose a Girl in 10 Texts” which is a great book on this topic by 2 best selling authors!
How To Start A Conversation With Someone You Like Over Text
In this article, we'll be going over the basics of starting a conversation with someone you like over text.
Texting is one of the easiest and most popular communication methods. It's essential for people who are shy or don't have time to talk in person.
The best way to start a conversation with anyone is via asking questions. Always look for a way to find a common interest, so you can keep things going and learn more about them.
As we'll cover below, one of the best ways to start a conversation with a girl over text is acknowledgement, followed by a joke backed up by a response before moving on to the next thing.
Think about it - what is the reason for someone to carry on their conversation with you instead of replying to someone else or doing another activity.
As we covered in our blog on how to keep a conversation going with your crush over text, you need to sell yourself, as we're about to cover below…
5 Tips on How To Keep a Conversation Going with a Girl Over Text
With online dating nowadays, there's so much competition. So why would someone like Robyn reply to me?
That's what I always thought when we started chatting - I'm punching far out of my league, so I need to ensure I set myself apart.
As much as we'd like to believe in love at first sight, it usually doesn't happen that way. Dating is often a sales process, and those who know how to market themselves have an advantage. Think of it like sales - you need to sell yourself as someone worthy of getting a date.
What we're talking about here are conversational skills. It's a lot like being a salesperson. The more you try, the better your "sales pitch" becomes.
There really isn't much risk to trying new techniques and getting better at making conversation with girls over text! After all, the point in messaging someone is to get on a date so you can actually get to know them.
So how to keep a conversation going with a girl over text? Keep reading to find out.
#1 KISS: Keep it Simple Stupid
You're probably thinking, "the title of this blog is how to keep a conversation going with a girl over text; why would I want to keep it simple and shorten the length of the conversation? "
As I said before, the point of any conversation with a girl you like is to meet up with them in person so you can actually get to know them. So, therefore, you shouldn't keep the texting going for too long - you should keep it going just enough to be able to schedule the date and come up with things to do/talk about when you're on it.
Don't get this confused with just wanting one thing or rushing the situation - texting isn't the way to craft a relationship. If you want something out of all the online dating you're doing, you need to meet in person.
Aim for 10 messages max until you get a date - this should give you plenty of time to get the date sorted and decide what to do.
With social media, the convo doesn't end there - you will both probably check each other's socials every day until you meet, allowing you to get a better sense of each other before the date.
After scoring the date with her, try to build some rapport and then go over any specific logistics. Once everything is ready, let her know how excited you are and when she can expect you to show up.
We exchanged 8 messages before agreeing to go on a date - meaning all we had to worry about was what to talk about on the first date.
#2 Match The Length Of Her Message
Messaging and communication are like a dance, you want to make sure there is a rhythm and you're both dancing to the same song.
One of the best tips to keep a conversation going with a girl over text is to match the length of the messages she sends. It's sort of like the sales tactic mirroring.
Salespeople will use subtle mirroring of moments, facial expressions and even speech patterns to build a relationship with someone. While it might seem weird or creepy, mirroring has been proven to work many times by researchers.
Matching the length of her message is a kind of mirroring you can use to build a rapport - for example, if she sends a long message and you respond with a short one, it can come across as blunt and make her feel disappointed.
Likewise, it can be awkward or disturb the rhythm if you reply to a one-liner with an essay.
Therefore, if you match her message length, you will build a report and feel as if you're both on the same page. Making it much more likely to get on that first date!
#3 Match Her Time To Respond
As we discussed above, mirroring can be a great way to build a rapport, and matching her response time is one way to do this.
If she is responding quickly and showing she wants to speak to you a lot, you probably want to make the most of that and also start a text quickly. Meanwhile, if she is taking a day to reply, it will be a bit weird if you reply within 15 seconds of her, and you will both feel like you're not on the same page.
There is a balance here. Don't ever revolve your day around replying to someone within 5 minutes because that's what they do. If you're giving someone everything they want instantly, you will be too available, which isn't a good thing.
If you're a busy guy and typically take up to a day to get back to someone (or more), then it's best to make that know and set expectations early. Again, being authentic and communicating clearly is vital.
The stories to how Robyn and I met vary…
#4 Start by Getting Personal, End with a Question
Building a rapport is key to getting a date - we've all been there when we have sent a message, and it's just awkward.
Again, going back to the sales, you will have noticed that salespeople will always start talking about a topic different to the actual business.
Salespeople will keep their opening lines personal and friendly in cold emails or conversations over text to pique interest. Then, they start the conversation before cutting to the chase about what they actually want.
Translating this into keeping a conversation going with a girl over text, we can make sure we're focussing on her in the initial message.
For example, instead of messaging Robyn, "I had such a good day at work today in meetings; how was your day?" Instead, I might say, "I saw you went to that conference today; how was it?"
This then sets me up to ask whether she wants to go out for dinner or drinks to chat about it - it proves you're interested in her and makes it clear you're interested. In the sales world, it's a bit like a "call to action"; it clarifies what you want from the situation.
#5 Keep your socials clean
Dating nowadays is difficult. Once the conversation ends, people are still deciding whether to go on a date with the other person and thinking about what they want to discuss next when you continue the conversation.
Whether we like it or not, social media is a big part of how to keep a conversation going with a girl over text. It gives you ques of what to speak about and indicates whether you want to go on a date with them in the first place.
Remember, that works both ways. Suppose you're being an idiot on social media. In that case, that is a failsafe way of stopping a conversation with a girl - as Robyn says, it gives girls the ick.
For example, during our early days of getting to know each other, I co-hosted the Born Ambitious Podcast (below). This meant there was footage on social media of me talking about exciting topics. This was great social proof and made it very easy to keep our conversation going.
Robyn told me early on that my social media and the podcast videos made it easy for her to get an idea of what I was like as a person and agree to go on a date with me.
It's worth looking at guides such as Instagram Dating Guides to get an idea of how you should set up your social media and tailor what you post to not put others off.
How to Keep a Conversation Going with a Girl over Text and get that date - the AJRM Method
You've found a girl you'd like to build a rapport with and successfully ask out on a date; how do you actually do it over text?
It can be hard to figure out how to ask someone in that unique situation, so we've taken inspiration from Step-By-Step Dating and presented the AJRM Method below.
How to Keep a Conversation Going with a Girl Over Text using AJRM
AJRM stands for Acknowledge, Joke, Response, Move it forward. This simple formula is the key to keeping a conversation going with somebody you like. It helps put into words what guys naturally are good at talking to girls do instinctively.
I never used a method when speaking to Robyn because I was just being myself and simply trying to have a fun conversation. But if you struggle with keeping a conversation going over text, then bearing this in mind could help.
Below we're going to be breaking down the method, but just remember, the goal of texting isn't to trick anyone, follow a step-by-step process etc.; it's to be yourself and have fun while you're doing it.
Let's break it down right now:
Acknowledge – Acknowledge something the girl has said or done in the past is a great way to start and make her feel more comfortable. This shows you're listening and allows you to emphasise while joking about something that has happened.
Joke – Make a joke out of something or introduce something into the conversation that keeps it fun. Remember, why is someone going to pick and go on a date with you? Making someone laugh is one of the best ways to do that.
Response – Once you have made the joke, if she's into you, she will likely carry the conversation on and say something you can respond to. Mentioning something here about yourself can help.
For example, I may joke about something Robyn posted on social media in the past and then mention a time I did something similar. This gives a couple of other talking points and ways to keep the conversation going over text.Move It Forward – Now you have moved the conversation on a bit and know a bit more about each other, this is the perfect time to ask questions that you know she's going to WANT to answer. Remember, texting and going on a date is meant to be fun. Don't ask the questions that are important to you straightaway - you're rarely going to know if someone is right or wrong without meeting them in person.
Moving the conversation forward doesn't mean you have lost interest in the conversation. Instead, it allows you to avoid small talk and position yourself for open-ended questions that don't lead to one-word answers.
Conclusion: Be Prepared To Keep The Conversation Going With Your New Girlfriend
In conclusion, it can be challenging when trying to answer how to keep a conversation going with a girl over text. It has got even harder in the modern age of texting and the internet - you're now competing with many other things to get a girl's attention.
Using the above methods, you can bear these top tips in mind when trying to get a girl on a date. But remember, the most important thing is always to make sure you're yourself. If you try and fake something, you're only going to set yourself up for failure in the future.
