Healthy texting habits in a relationship: 10+ Expert Tips
In any relationship, good communication is key and texting has become a huge part of that nowadays. Couples who have been in long-distance relationships for a few years like ours owe most of our communication to the power of a sweet text message or a quick video call.
We are well practiced in texting being our main form of communication. Imagine if we still had to send letters to communicate, Yikes! As awesome as texting is, it can also be a breeding ground for drama. Sometimes when someone sends a message with one intention, It can be misinterpreted by the other person.
These unhealthy texting habits can lead to misunderstandings, arguments, and even the breakdown of a relationship. We hate seeing relationships crumble! Because we understand how important texting is, in this article, we will discuss healthy texting habits in a relationship that can foster understanding, trust, and better communication between partners.
The Importance of Communication in a Relationship
Good communication can be the difference between a happy, healthy relationship and one that's filled with misunderstandings. The question now is, what makes communication "good"? A few factors that come to mind are; active listening, effective expression and respect for your partner's perspective.
You also have to be clear and honest about your own thoughts and feelings, and be open to understanding where your partner is coming from. This means not getting angry at the other when they are upset about something you might not understand yet.
Texting might not be the most romantic form of communication but it is the most convenient. Just make sure you're not relying solely on texts to communicate with your partner. Face-to-face conversations (if you can) and phone calls are important too.
Understanding Texting as a Communication Medium
Unlike face-to-face conversations, where we can rely on verbal cues, body language, and tone of voice to convey meaning, texting relies solely on written words. You’re left to interpret things on your own. This is why a text sent at the wrong time can lead to misunderstandings. Texts can be interpreted in different ways depending on the context and timing.
Texting is a whole different ballgame compared to talking in person. One little misinterpretation can spiral into full-blown arguments. That’s why it is very important to learn how to effectively use this mode of communicating with your partner.
If you’re ever looking for deep topics to discuss over text, or want to know how to keep a conversation over text, our blog has you covered!
Healthy Texting Habits in a Relationship
Healthy texting often leads to healthy time spent together
Who doesn't love it when their phone beeps and it’s a message from their partner? We know we do, especially if we haven't heard from each other all day.
The scary part is, when you’re angry you can get carried away and end up sabotaging your relationships by sending messages you don’t necessarily mean. To avoid this, here are some healthy texting habits to keep in mind:
Be Mindful of Your Partner's Schedule
While texting can be a convenient way to stay connected, it's important to respect your partner's time and schedule. We know this all too well!
Robyn had to get used to how much Henry works! Throughout our relationship we have developed understanding on each other schedules. We don’t get offended if the other takes hours to reply. It just means they are busy, that’s all.
If your partner is busy at work or in a meeting, sending a barrage of texts can be distracting and counterproductive.
For example, if they travel for work, they might not have chance to reply. This happened to us when Henry was travelling through Europe!
Avoid Miscommunication
Texting can be a breeding ground for miscommunication, especially when messages are misinterpreted or taken out of context. To avoid misunderstandings, be clear and concise in your texts. If you're unsure about the meaning of a text, ask your partner for clarification. Never jump to conclusions.
Be Respectful of Your Partner's Boundaries
Everyone has different boundaries when it comes to texting. Some people prefer frequent communication, while others may only want to text occasionally. Both of you should set clear boundaries and try as much as possible to stick to them.
We have worked it out over the years what works for us. It is all about communication. Henry works a lot and will go into focus mode for majority of the day. Whereas Robyn is on her phone a lot more creating content and using Instagram a lot for work.
Therefore, even though Robyn is on her phone more she does not expect Henry to reply to her often throughout the day as she respects his boundaries.
Never Use Texting as a Replacement for Face-to-Face Communication
While texting can be a convenient way to stay connected, it's important to remember that it's not a replacement for face-to-face communication. Physical interactions and in-person communication are important for building intimacy, expressing emotions, and resolving conflicts.
Of course, if you are long distance, like we were, then video calling is the second best option. We used to schedule face time dates with each other to make sure we were kept up to date with each other and not missing out on quality time with each other.
Use Emojis and Gifs in Moderation
Emojis and gifs can be a fun way to add personality and emotion to your texts. However, using too many can be overwhelming and sometimes just unnecessary additions to the message you're trying to convey.
Use them in moderation and make sure they enhance, rather than detract from, the message you're trying to convey. If your partner is upset about something don’t reply with an emoji. It is childish and can cause more arguments.
We also love using emojis when we are trying to flirt with each other. It is a great way to show your partner you are trying to have a little flirt with them.
Don't Text When You're Angry or Upset
This is a golden rule. Never ever, text your partner when you're angry or upset. It can lead to hurtful messages and misunderstandings. It's important to take a step back and cool off before sending a text.
If you're feeling emotional, it's best to wait until you can have a face-to-face conversation to resolve the issue. Sometimes even when you’re angry you can’t and shouldn't leave your partner on read. You can still send respectful messages when you’re upset.
We have always gone by this rule as we don’t believe you should exchange text messages that you might regret afterwards. To avoid your partner feeling anxious about not hearing from you, you can say “I am feeling angry right now, I will reply when I have calmed down. I am not ignoring you.”
That way you are still communicating your feelings and your partner doesn’t feel left in the dark.
Use Texting to Show Affection
Surprise your partner once in a while with a heartfelt message telling them how much they mean to you and how much you want the relationship to work. Texting can be a great way to show affection and keep the spark alive in a relationship.
Sending a thoughtful message or compliment will brighten your partner's day and strengthen your connection.
We love to do this. Sometimes we might send through a photo of one of our favourite memories together. This is a lovely way to reminisce on previous memories and show your appreciation and love for your partner.
Remember, you both have your own lives! Texting often isn’t a priority
Give Your Partner Time to Respond
While texting can be a convenient way to communicate, it's important to remember that your partner may not always be available to respond right away.
Give your partner time to respond and avoid sending follow-up messages if they don't respond immediately.
When they finally get back to you, don’t develop an attitude, I’m sure most of us are guilty of that.
There is nothing worse then having a busy day and all you want to do is speak to your partner, and they have an attitude with you. It is the last thing you need.
To establish healthy texting habits in a relationship, you need be understanding of the other persons life.
Use Proper Grammar and Spelling
The importance of proper punctuation, grammar and spelling when you are texting cannot be overemphasised. Not only does this make your messages easier to understand, but it shows that you value the relationship enough to put effort into your communication.
No one wants to read hard-to-understand sentences after a long and busy day. Also, it is the bare minimum! I think we can all agree we would prefer a well thought through text over a rushed half arsed one!
Don't Share Private Information Over Text
Texting is not a secure form of communication and can easily be intercepted by others. Even apps that use end-to-end encryption can get hacked and your personal information stolen.
It's important to avoid sharing private information, such as financial details or personal passwords, over text.
Unhealthy Texting Habits in a Relationship
We’ve talked about the things you should do if you want a great texting relationship with your partner. Now, let's highlight the red flags, the things you should absolutely avoid if you want a smooth texting experience.
Texting Constantly
Most couples start off their relationships by texting constantly, I’m sure you remember that period. But after a while, texting constantly can become overwhelming and lead to burnout. It's important to give your partner space and respect their boundaries when it comes to texting frequency.
Especially when you are long distance. Staying in touch can get confused with over communication. Yes of course you need to make sure you are communicating when away from each other, but it is important to remember that you both have your own lives!
Especially while working, it’s common for Henry to be glued to his phone!
Using Texting as a Means of Control
Some people try to use texting to control their partners. Most times the people that do this, don’t even know that’s what they’re doing. A perfect example is demanding an immediate response from your partner or using threats or ultimatums.
This is a huge red flag in a relationship. It's always important to communicate openly and respectfully and avoid using texting as a way to manipulate your partner.
Ignoring Your Partner's Texts
We don’t know how we’ll make this sound as important as it is but never leave your partner on read. Ignoring your partner's texts can be hurtful and lead to misunderstandings. If you're busy or unable to respond, let your partner know when you'll be available to talk.
Communicate your schedule effectively, you never want your partner to think that you’re ignoring them.
Also, if you are so busy you shouldn’t be opening a message unless you intend to reply. Of course you mean no harm when you open the message and don’t reply but it can be an easy way to have a misunderstanding with your partner. Even if it is something as simple as “Busy! Talk later”. Simple, yet effective!
Sending Passive-Aggressive Texts
Sarcasm is always welcome, but sometimes it can hit the wrong nerve, especially when you’re texting your partner. Passive-aggressive texts like using sarcasm or making subtle jabs, is a toxic habit that can damage even the strongest of relationships.
We know when we are missing each other, Robyn doesn’t take to sarcasm to well. Therefore, remember there is a time and a place. Try and read the room.
Criticising Your Partner Over Text
Do not be judgmental towards your partner when you guys are texting. Criticising your partner over text can be hurtful and lead to misunderstandings. It's important to communicate constructive feedback in person and avoid using texting as a way to avoid difficult conversations.
Checking Your Partner's Phone
If your relationship has come to checking each other's phones to confirm your partner isn't cheating on you, it might be a sign that you shouldn't be in that relationship. Checking your partner's phone without their consent is a violation of trust and privacy. It's important to respect your partner's boundaries.
It might be a hard truth but what your partner does on their device shouldn't be your business. Learn to trust. Besides you usually don’t have to confirm if your partner isn’t being faithful by going through their devices. Most times the signs are as clear as day.
If you don’t trust your partner then you need to have a conversation with them about that rather using toxic tactics like this. This is not a healthy texting ha
Conclusion
To sum it all up, texting can be a great way for you and your partner to stay connected. For couples that hardly get to see each other, it serves as a major means of communication.
Because of this, it's important to use it in a healthy and respectful way. If pre-set rules and boundaries aren't put in place. Things can get heated really quickly.
At the end of the day, texting can be a powerful tool for enhancing communication and strengthening your bond with your partner. Just remember to use it wisely and with care.
Healthy texting habits in a Relationship FAQs
Can texting replace face-to-face communication in a relationship?
No, texting should be used as a supplement to, rather than a replacement for, face-to-face communication.
Is it okay to send private information over text?
No, texting is not a secure form of communication and can easily be intercepted by others. It's important to avoid sharing private information, such as financial details or personal passwords, over text.
How often should I text my partner?
It depends on your partner's boundaries and schedule. It's important to communicate openly and respectfully about your expectations for texting frequency.
What should I do if my partner ignores my texts?
If your partner ignores your texts, it's important to communicate openly and directly about your concerns. Avoid sending follow-up messages or making assumptions about why they're not responding.
Is it okay to argue or fight over text?
No, arguing or fighting over text can lead to hurtful messages and misunderstandings. It's important to have face-to-face conversations to resolve conflicts and avoid using texting as a substitute for difficult conversations.
